January 1 is the very worst time to make a New Year's resolution. Why? Because people who are broke and exhausted from the holidays won’t be able to rally the physical and emotional energy needed to shed pounds or stop smoking. At least that was my experience with clients when I was a therapist in private practice. I also learned some other valuable, but unorthodox lessons about goal setting:

• Don’t focus on building up your areas of weakness. Talents overlooked may atrophy, and weaknesses -- regardless of how much effort is put into trying to improve them -- will never match a person’s natural abilities. Instead, focus on your strengths and place yourself in positions where those strengths can make you successful.

• Learn to embrace failure. Appreciate that growth and development comes as much from failure as it does from success. Understanding what doesn’t work may be at least as important as understanding what does, especially when these failures are acknowledged early on and are swiftly examined.

• Realize that unlearning is hardest part of learning new behaviors. One of the greatest challenges of making resolutions is to identify those behaviors and attitudes that need to be unlearned in order to more quickly adopt new behaviors. The trick is to use past competencies, not as a reason to stop progressing (by getting stuck in your comfort zone) but as a springboard to future success.

• Don’t set goals. Create action plans. Anybody can write a wish list. The secret of success lies in forming the habit of doing the things required to succeed. I have no complaint with those who write down their goals and ambitions. But please don’t stop there. Jumping into action is what will turn dreams into reality.

There is a new version of “A Christmas Carol” being performed in a San Francisco theatre this holiday season. I love this story about the transformation of a human being and how the community he lives in supports his metamorphosis. I think it is a great example of what I saw as a therapist in private practice, and what has stayed in the back of my mind with every corporate client I now work with. People are capable of amazing feats of change. They can totally reinvent themselves, learn brand-new skills and ways of thinking, and turn a seeming tragedy into a new opportunity.

I was still in high school when my father was fired from the San Francisco Examiner. My dad loved the newspaper business, and he especially enjoyed his job, working with the newsboys who (then) sold papers on street corners. I knew he'd be devastated by the loss.

To add to the problem, he had been employed by the Examiner for 30 years -- but not consecutively. (He left school at twelve, and worked to send his younger brothers through Stanford University.) So when the newspaper eliminated its entire circulation department, my dad was not only out of work, he was out of any chance to receive a pension.

I will never forget that afternoon. I came home from school to find my father already there. Not only was he home, her was in the kitchen. In fact, my dad was at the sink, bent over, holding his head in his hands.

My heart went out to him, but as I was about to say something consoling, I noticed that the reason he was bent over the sink was that my sister was dying his grey hair brown so that he'd look younger when he went looking for a new job. Dad straightened up, grinned, and said: "Now we're going to have some fun!"

And fun we had indeed, for my father did many fascinating things, including owning the "front yard" of a traveling circus, managing a gold mine, and taking photographs for postcards. In his late sixties, he opening his last business -- a carnival supply company, which he operated successfully until his death (in the middle of a work day) at the age of 80.

My mother worked along side my father in most of his endeavors. After his death, she did what any grieving widow in her seventies would do -- she took up country-western dancing. And a couple of years later, Mom married her country-western partner. (At their wedding, they wore their dancing costumes. But that, quite literally, is another story.)

Having the profound luck of being raised by these two incredibly resilient people is something for which I will always be grateful. They made dealing with the vagaries of change seem like a great adventure.

And that is what they taught me -- but not by anything they said. I don't recall my parents sharing any slogans or advice on managing change, but I DO remember exactly what they did, and the attitudes they held.

This is also how the people who live and work with you learn about change – not by what you say, but by everything you do, and how you feel about doing it.

In this season of present-giving, I’d like to remind you that one of the greatest gifts you have to offer, is to embody the change (whatever that is!) you want to see in the world.

Happy Holidays!

There is a deep sense of loss at the passing of Peter Drucker. His contributions included 30 books and thousands of articles that have influenced the way in which we look at the role of management as well as employees and their work environment.

Here are a few of the quotes that may serve as reminders of the way in which he thought:

“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

“Efficiency is doing things right; effectiveness is doing the right things.”

“My greatest strength as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions.”

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

“Company cultures are like country cultures. Never try to change one. Try, instead, to work with what you’ve got.”

“So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.”

“The productivity of work is not the responsibility of the worker but of the manager.”

“The really important things are said over cocktails and are never done.”

Through his writings, presentations, and consultations, Peter Drucker improved the work environment, increased productivity, and changed the way in which we lead and manage organizations around the world.

My favorite quote of his: "Reporters refer to managment 'gurus' because they can't spell charlatan."